So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
