I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
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