So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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