I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
