birth control should be required to get into college
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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