Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
