big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
he shaved USA in his pubs
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Everclear isn't food dammit
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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