He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Randomize
