Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
As shirtless as possible
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
