nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
