Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
