Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
