It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
from now on my penis is your penis
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
