Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Randomize
