i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
