Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
When did angry sex become our thing?
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
