btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Randomize
