Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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