Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Bring me that man meat
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
