i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize