Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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