last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
