I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
