so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Randomize
