When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
