All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
