She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Randomize
