i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
