new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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