So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
