i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
