You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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