You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Randomize
