it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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