Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
