I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Man, jail baloney is awful.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
