Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
