Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
