If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
