At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize