Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
