no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize