i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
