I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I wish you could order shots online.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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