I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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