Small penises have feelings too.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize