So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
