did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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