You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
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