sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
