So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
