the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize