hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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