I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Randomize
