I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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