maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Girls should come with a carfax report
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
