Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I pour the whiskey from now on
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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