tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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