hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
We got so high we made milksteak
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
