Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
