He asked me if I "almost moaned"
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize